is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
