You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
