Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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