I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
