I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
