is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
