I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
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