i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I queefed so loud it echoed.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
