with your own penis?
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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