he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
