Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
