It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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