Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
i permit you to call me
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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