im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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