Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
i need an iv and a liver transplant
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
