i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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