So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
