If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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