College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
