Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
