Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
