Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
