Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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