I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
they're like a gay fantastic four
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Randomize
