Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
What a dumb baby whore.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
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