guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
