Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
