Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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