Can Purell be used as lube?
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
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