hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
