finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
