Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize
