I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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