Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
