he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
