There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Randomize
