Buhtt sex?
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
