yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
This is the high leading the old right now
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
