How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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