You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
