I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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