We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
