I wish I could punch you in the face.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
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