Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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