Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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