This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
