I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Randomize
