ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
