i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
