Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
