I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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