are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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